So I have been thinking about growing up alot lately I think maybe its a quarter life crisis. I am 25 and although I think I have been living what society would call a "grown up" life for about 9 years now I wonder sometimes am I really a "grown up".
Lets examine the facts shall we. I moved out at 16 got a little hole in the wall apartment and anounced to my parents that I was "grown". I spent my days going to high school, my evenings going to work, and most of my nights doing homework and housework. I paid my bills, shoveled my sidewalks when it snowed, grocery shopped, and even occasionally doing all those ridiculous household chores I told my mother "I would never do in my house". I thought I had it all figured out my weekends were mine my time to relax and hang out with my friends being "grown up" was great.
Fast forward 9 years I have a house, tons of bills, a stack full of laundry and a sink full of dirty dishes. In the middle of the never ending cycle of house work and laundry I often ask myself is this it am I "grown up" now? I mean I'm older maybe a little wiser but grown? That word I threw at my parents with all the confidence in the world almost 10 years ago haunts me now. I am stuck somewhere in the middle of going through the daily grind and wishing I did not try to grow up so fast.
The friends I once was so close to have drifted away over the years. Some to far away colleges and jobs, others to a family and children, some even to the mystery of death. I think that is what gets me now if I was still spending my weekends with my friends doing things young people do maybe I could feel younger. I am not ready to grow up yet. I joke around and tell people I don't know what I want to be when I grow up but the truth is I don't.
Even if this is it and I am now officially a "grown up" this cant really be all there is to life. I will one day find a career I enjoy, a relationship I am sure of, and a car that starts the first time I turn the key right? At this moment it doesn't look that way to me and that is what scares me most. I always imagined that when I grew up I would marry the man of my dreams have a nice house, a nice car, you know the american dream. My mother tells me that other people feel the same way sometimes that it is a part of life and eventually I will figure these things out. I dont know if I will or not but I will keep trying.
A word of advise to the younger readers of my blog don't be to quick to grow up. Enjoy the things in your life right now because someday they will be gone and only then will you realize how important they were.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Friends of the opposite sex
I don't have many friends that are women in fact to be honest I don't have any. Now dont get me wrong I have women who I talk to sure but friends no. Most of the women I know are dating a guy friend of mine so they become friends by default. Now most of them are really nice but you know how it goes after a break up friends are forced to choose sides and of course my loyalties lie with my friends.
Now I have some guy friends whose girlfriends I have chosen to not get close to at all because the relationship will never last so what is the point. Then I have some guy friends whose girlfriends I really like and that will just make it even more akward when the time comes to pick sides. But there is a different side to all of this I want to look at today the missing friends.
You all have them a friend who gets a partner and you forget what they look like. Gone are the hours spent talking on the phone gone are the afternoons spent watching sports or drinking coffee and gossiping. This becomes even worse when your friend is of the opposite sex. This opens a whole new world of space between you and you may not see them again until the breakup.
Now to be fair to most every man I have ever dated before the relationship gets serious I always have "the talk". This talk usually goes something like this:
Me: Listen I really like you but there is something we need to talk about before this goes any further.
Them: Is something wrong?
Me: No its nothing like that. I know you have met some of my friends but not all of them and I am sure you have noticed that they are mostly guys. I need to know this is not going to be a problem for you if we start to get more serious.
Them: No not at all why would it be.
Me: Well I will be honest I have had this conversation before and while the answer is always the same "No why would it be" after a while of dating it always is. I just don't want to waste my time or yours with something we know will be a problem.
Them: Listen its not going to be a problem I trust you.
Fast forward a few months and its "why is he always calling" or "you know he just wants to get in your pants". Now maybe I just have a knack for picking guys who are insecure but maybe not. I notice the trend amongst girlfriends of the guys I am friends with too they start to get a little jealous or insecure and the next thing you know our friendship is strained.
Why is this? I for one completely believe it is possible for men and women to be friends without sex. My best friends in the world are men we have been friends over a decade and we have never had sex. Now this brings forward the question of if I havent slept with them in all this time why would I choose to do it when I am in a relationship. Over the years there have been plenty of times where we have been single and not had sex with each other and do you know why? Because we are friends nothing more.
Now if you find a partner who is not the jealous type lucky you. But for the most part I have not been so lucky but here is the tricky part. I have always had the opinion that my friends were here before you and they will be here after you so I refuse to push them away for you. But now I am 25 and I am starting to think about getting married and spending my life with someone. When do you have to make them more important? Or better yet should you be with someone who does not trust you enough to have friends of the opposite sex.
Now I know the answer to that statement is always "I trust you but I dont trust them". Sorry no it dosent work that way unless you believe they will force themselves on me then you dont trust me. So lets hear it people your friends or your partner and what makes you feel that way? I sure dont know the answer but I guess I have to go with what works so heres to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends who turned into family.
Now I have some guy friends whose girlfriends I have chosen to not get close to at all because the relationship will never last so what is the point. Then I have some guy friends whose girlfriends I really like and that will just make it even more akward when the time comes to pick sides. But there is a different side to all of this I want to look at today the missing friends.
You all have them a friend who gets a partner and you forget what they look like. Gone are the hours spent talking on the phone gone are the afternoons spent watching sports or drinking coffee and gossiping. This becomes even worse when your friend is of the opposite sex. This opens a whole new world of space between you and you may not see them again until the breakup.
Now to be fair to most every man I have ever dated before the relationship gets serious I always have "the talk". This talk usually goes something like this:
Me: Listen I really like you but there is something we need to talk about before this goes any further.
Them: Is something wrong?
Me: No its nothing like that. I know you have met some of my friends but not all of them and I am sure you have noticed that they are mostly guys. I need to know this is not going to be a problem for you if we start to get more serious.
Them: No not at all why would it be.
Me: Well I will be honest I have had this conversation before and while the answer is always the same "No why would it be" after a while of dating it always is. I just don't want to waste my time or yours with something we know will be a problem.
Them: Listen its not going to be a problem I trust you.
Fast forward a few months and its "why is he always calling" or "you know he just wants to get in your pants". Now maybe I just have a knack for picking guys who are insecure but maybe not. I notice the trend amongst girlfriends of the guys I am friends with too they start to get a little jealous or insecure and the next thing you know our friendship is strained.
Why is this? I for one completely believe it is possible for men and women to be friends without sex. My best friends in the world are men we have been friends over a decade and we have never had sex. Now this brings forward the question of if I havent slept with them in all this time why would I choose to do it when I am in a relationship. Over the years there have been plenty of times where we have been single and not had sex with each other and do you know why? Because we are friends nothing more.
Now if you find a partner who is not the jealous type lucky you. But for the most part I have not been so lucky but here is the tricky part. I have always had the opinion that my friends were here before you and they will be here after you so I refuse to push them away for you. But now I am 25 and I am starting to think about getting married and spending my life with someone. When do you have to make them more important? Or better yet should you be with someone who does not trust you enough to have friends of the opposite sex.
Now I know the answer to that statement is always "I trust you but I dont trust them". Sorry no it dosent work that way unless you believe they will force themselves on me then you dont trust me. So lets hear it people your friends or your partner and what makes you feel that way? I sure dont know the answer but I guess I have to go with what works so heres to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends who turned into family.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Off the wall ideas
Did you ever have an idea which sounded really good to you but you didn't follow through on?
I have a free spirited entrepreneural mind which quite often runs away. I start thinking about how I could open this business or that business and never do anything with any of the ideas. Most of the reason for this is my own scepticism. I start to think it out and discourage myself and then I try to think of a better idea. The problem with that is I never actually get anywhere in life.
I went to college three times or should I say I enrolled in college three times. I dropped out all three times never attaining a degree. I opened an online storefront and made some money but I gave up on listing products (too time consuming) and moved on. I cant exactly remember what I moved on to but obviously it was something i managed to talk myself out of in the end.
So why am i sitting here blabbing on and on about not following through on ideas?
Well did you ever think of how many off the wall ideas actually made money. Ideas I am sure some people would have never expected to make any money but in the end they did and sometimes they made alot. Think about how crazy everyone though Thomas edison must have been until he really had a working light bulb or Alexander Graham Bell until we had working telephones. More recent check out Alex Tew tell me any of you could have forseen that idea going anywhere.
I guess in the end not every crazy idea I have will go somewhere maybe none of them will. But one thing is for sure none of them will ever go anywhere if I don't try and that is a guarantee. So here is to sticking with your ideas and believing in your ideas.
I have a free spirited entrepreneural mind which quite often runs away. I start thinking about how I could open this business or that business and never do anything with any of the ideas. Most of the reason for this is my own scepticism. I start to think it out and discourage myself and then I try to think of a better idea. The problem with that is I never actually get anywhere in life.
I went to college three times or should I say I enrolled in college three times. I dropped out all three times never attaining a degree. I opened an online storefront and made some money but I gave up on listing products (too time consuming) and moved on. I cant exactly remember what I moved on to but obviously it was something i managed to talk myself out of in the end.
So why am i sitting here blabbing on and on about not following through on ideas?
Well did you ever think of how many off the wall ideas actually made money. Ideas I am sure some people would have never expected to make any money but in the end they did and sometimes they made alot. Think about how crazy everyone though Thomas edison must have been until he really had a working light bulb or Alexander Graham Bell until we had working telephones. More recent check out Alex Tew tell me any of you could have forseen that idea going anywhere.
I guess in the end not every crazy idea I have will go somewhere maybe none of them will. But one thing is for sure none of them will ever go anywhere if I don't try and that is a guarantee. So here is to sticking with your ideas and believing in your ideas.
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