Friends of the opposite sex

I don't have many friends that are women in fact to be honest I don't have any. Now dont get me wrong I have women who I talk to sure but friends no. Most of the women I know are dating a guy friend of mine so they become friends by default. Now most of them are really nice but you know how it goes after a break up friends are forced to choose sides and of course my loyalties lie with my friends.

Now I have some guy friends whose girlfriends I have chosen to not get close to at all because the relationship will never last so what is the point. Then I have some guy friends whose girlfriends I really like and that will just make it even more akward when the time comes to pick sides. But there is a different side to all of this I want to look at today the missing friends.

You all have them a friend who gets a partner and you forget what they look like. Gone are the hours spent talking on the phone gone are the afternoons spent watching sports or drinking coffee and gossiping. This becomes even worse when your friend is of the opposite sex. This opens a whole new world of space between you and you may not see them again until the breakup.

Now to be fair to most every man I have ever dated before the relationship gets serious I always have "the talk". This talk usually goes something like this:

Me: Listen I really like you but there is something we need to talk about before this goes any further.

Them: Is something wrong?

Me: No its nothing like that. I know you have met some of my friends but not all of them and I am sure you have noticed that they are mostly guys. I need to know this is not going to be a problem for you if we start to get more serious.

Them: No not at all why would it be.

Me: Well I will be honest I have had this conversation before and while the answer is always the same "No why would it be" after a while of dating it always is. I just don't want to waste my time or yours with something we know will be a problem.

Them: Listen its not going to be a problem I trust you.

Fast forward a few months and its "why is he always calling" or "you know he just wants to get in your pants". Now maybe I just have a knack for picking guys who are insecure but maybe not. I notice the trend amongst girlfriends of the guys I am friends with too they start to get a little jealous or insecure and the next thing you know our friendship is strained.

Why is this? I for one completely believe it is possible for men and women to be friends without sex. My best friends in the world are men we have been friends over a decade and we have never had sex. Now this brings forward the question of if I havent slept with them in all this time why would I choose to do it when I am in a relationship. Over the years there have been plenty of times where we have been single and not had sex with each other and do you know why? Because we are friends nothing more.

Now if you find a partner who is not the jealous type lucky you. But for the most part I have not been so lucky but here is the tricky part. I have always had the opinion that my friends were here before you and they will be here after you so I refuse to push them away for you. But now I am 25 and I am starting to think about getting married and spending my life with someone. When do you have to make them more important? Or better yet should you be with someone who does not trust you enough to have friends of the opposite sex.

Now I know the answer to that statement is always "I trust you but I dont trust them". Sorry no it dosent work that way unless you believe they will force themselves on me then you dont trust me. So lets hear it people your friends or your partner and what makes you feel that way? I sure dont know the answer but I guess I have to go with what works so heres to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends who turned into family.